Is This Love or Am I Dying?
by quietuniverse
Summary: Ben Solo fell in love with Rey Kenobi the moment that she ungracefully smashed into him on the sidewalk that morning. Ben Solo did not want to fall in love with Rey Kenobi.
Ben Solo was ruined.

Completely and totally ruined.

He had met Rey Kenobi just three minutes ago and his stupid, useless heart had sprang to life, beating erratically like never before. The foreign butterflies he felt in his stomach brought him to the brink of throwing up.

They hadn't even actually met. Not really, anyway.

The bright-eyed, brown-haired beauty had more or less plowed into Ben on the sidewalk with the voracity of a steamroller. If it were not for his size, which dwarfed her in comparison, she may have succeeded in her reckless mission to navigate the sidewalk traffic by sheer force.

Ben had earned but a few meager, rushed apologies from the girl as she frantically chirped, _-most likely to herself and not actually to him-_ , about how very late she was.

He was able to fully appreciate her face for only a moment, as they locked eyes when he knelt down to help her pick up her scattered textbooks that had fallen victim to the wrath of the unforgiving pavement.

"Thanks, sorry again!"

And she was gone.

Ben had stood rooted to the spot, blinking repeatedly, trying to process the unbearable feeling that had lurched in his chest like a goddamn spaceship the second that he looked into her eyes.

He barely registered the flash of her red jacket disappearing from his peripheral vision as she sprinted away and rounded the corner up ahead.

He apprehensively placed a hand against his chest, convinced that the erratic rhythm of his quickly beating heart was nothing more than a sure sign of his impending death.

Ben Solo was a ruined man as he repeatedly swore to himself that he had not just fallen in love with a complete and total stranger.

* * *

"Oh dear."

Every single nerve ending in Ben's body felt like it was on fire when he opened the door to his dorm room only to be welcomed by the two words that had escaped **her** mouth. She stood there, a surprised look on her face and one hand still raised and balled into a fist as she had prepared to knock for a fifth time.

"Steamroller."

Ben uttered the first word that his currently liquified brain had managed to produce. The stupidest fucking word he could have ever said to her.

She pursed her lips.

"Excuse me?"

His eyes widened in horror as he slammed the door shut in her face. He leaned heavily against the now closed door, running his hands through his hair while anxiety seared through his chest like a radioactive substance.

 _What. The. Fuck_.

Another short yet deliberate knock on the door shook him from his...well...whatever the hell was happening to him.

He slowly opened the door, but only just enough that he could poke his head out.

"Um. Sorry. Yes? Can I help you?"

The girl's eyes, which had been determinedly fixed on the door handle, snapped up to meet his.

Ben, from his safe place on the other side of the door, gripped the inner door handle with unnecessary force as he made the mistake of looking into those goddamn eyes again. He momentarily panicked as he found himself unable to look away, her eyes locking him in like a cruel tractor beam. He was only able to recover once she finally spoke,

"Steamroller?"

Ben shrugged. Or, at least, he thought he shrugged. There was a chance he had actually just violently jerked his upper body due to the presently destroyed state of his nerves.

"You attempted to flatten me into the sidewalk this morning. Like...well...a steamroller..."

The girl crossed her arms over her chest, a judgemental look crossing her face as she listened to his shoddy explanation.

Ben couldn't help the unwanted thoughts that crossed his mind about how stupidly attractive she looked in that moment. So very attractive that he could not even muster up one of his typical snarky comebacks when she narrowed her eyes and said,

"Oversized traffic pylons do not belong on sidewalks."

And with that, she shoved a piece of paper toward his chest, spun on her heel, and left.

Before looking at the paper, he began to calculate the mathematically impossible odds that she had taken the initiative to hunt him down after their sidewalk incident with the intention of giving him her phone number.

He walked over to his desk and slowly unfolded the paper

 **STUDENT: REY KENOBI**  
 **CLASS: THEORY OF FORCE AND PHYSICS**

 **INSTRUCTOR: PROFESSOR LEIA ORGANA, PhD**  
 **UNDERGRADUATE TEACHING ASSISTANT: BEN SOLO**

 **Note: Please report to either Professor Leia Organa's office (Office 2187, Block AA-23) or UTA Ben Solo's office (Room 304) after enrolment with confirmation of your intended topic for your first written report. REPORT IS DUE AT THE OPENING OF THE FIRST CLASS.**

At the bottom of the paper, in the girl's neat, cursive handwriting, were the words:

 _Exploring Concepts of Light and Dark Matter_

"You have got to be fucking kidding me."


End file.
